Download E-books Stupid Ancient History (Stupid History) PDF

By Leland Gregory

Best-selling stand-up comedian Leland Gregory deals a blockbuster number of greater than two hundred extraordinary, bizarre, foolish, surprising, and downright outrageous actual tales approximately historic Greek and Roman history.

New York Times best-selling writer Leland Gregory is one among Andrews McMeel Publishing’s such a lot profitable noncartoon humorists. foolish, surprising, bizarre, hilariously funny—and outrageously true—the brief anecdotes inside of his anthologies of human stupidity are culled from print, on-line, and broadcast media from all around the world. Inside Stupid historic History, Gregory chronicles Greek philosophers, Roman conquerors, and ancient mythconceptions, including:

 
— To struggle off Roman ships in three hundred BC, Carthaginians catapulted dwell snakes at them.
— The Athenian lawmaker Draco died of suffocation whilst presents of cloaks have been showered upon him by means of thankful electorate at an Aegina theater in 620 BC. 
— In historical Rome, lengthy ahead of the appearance of the Christian Bible, Roman males swore to “tell the reality, the total fact, and not anything however the fact” by means of putting their correct hand on their testicles. It is from this ritual that we derived the time period “testimony.”
—  Of the Seven Wonders of the traditional international, The Temple of Artemis in Ephesus burned to the floor in 356 BC. The arsonist was once accomplished; and to ensure his want for eternal repute wouldn’t come precise, it used to be ordered that his identify be from all documents and not pointed out again. But humans will talk. Despite all efforts, his identify leaked, and Herostratus is remembered as essentially the most infamous firebugs in history. 

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Paging Dr. Freud Issued lengthy prior to Sigmund Freud defined the arguable “Oedipus complex”—a psychoanalytic idea concerning a boy’s wish to sexually own his mother—was second-century diviner Artemidorus Daldianus’s five-volume e-book, Oneirocritica (The Interpretation of Dreams). Here’s how he analyzes a guy dreaming approximately his mom: yet for a guy who's excited by a lawsuit over land rights, for a guy who desires to buy land, and for a guy who wish to farm land, it truly is sturdy to have sex [in his desires] with one’s useless mom. a few humans say that it exhibits undesirable good fortune just for farmers. For they are going to forged their seeds down into, because it have been, useless land. that's, it's going to undergo no fruit. for my part, this doesn't appear to be the case in any respect until, in fact, the individual desires that he repents or is distressed via the sex. (Artemidorus Daldianus, Oneirocritica 1. 1. seventy nine. ) No Turning again Now The idiom “crossing the Rubicon” capacity to move some degree of no go back. yet the place did the word come from? The Rubicon is really a shallow river in northeastern Italy and derived its identify from the Latin adjective rubeus, that means “red” (because the pink dust deposits have coloured the water). In early forty nine B. C. , Julius Caesar led one legion, the Legio XIII Gemina, over the Rubicon, which used to be the border of one other Roman province. This used to be thought of an act of revolt, making armed clash inevitable. The Roman Republic used to be divided into numerous provinces, and the chief of 1 wasn’t allowed in one other. So through finding out to go the Rubicon, Caesar knew complete good he had handed the purpose of no go back. in response to the historian Suetonius, upon crossing, Caesar uttered the recognized word “ålea iacta est”—“the die has been forged. ” (Suetonius Lives of the Caesars “Divus Julius” 32. ) Caesar used to be by no means punished for the crime simply because his final victory within the nice Roman Civil warfare ultimately resulted in him turning into dictator. that allows you to make sure that babies develop UP powerful AND fit, CATO THE ELDER recommended THAT the fogeys WASH the infant within the URINE of somebody WHO HAS BEEN residing ON A nutrition OF CABBAGE. (ON FARMING 157. 10. ) MESSAGES FROM THE previous IX Graffiti from Pompeii, accumulated and recorded within the Corpus Inscriptionum Latinarum. The quantity after the positioning in parentheses is the catalog variety of the inscription (not the date) in quantity four: (Triclinium of a home) 5251: “Restitutus has deceived many ladies. ” Nuceria Necropolis (on a tomb) 10231: “Serena hates Isidorus. ” Herculaneum (bar/inn joined to the maritime baths) 10675: “Two pals have been right here. whereas they have been, they'd undesirable provider in each means from a man named Epaphroditus. They threw him out and spent one hundred and five and part sestertii such a lot agreeably on whores. ” Herculaneum (bar/inn joined to the maritime baths) 10677: “Apelles the chamberlain with Dexter, a slave of Caesar, ate the following so much agreeably and had a screw whilst. ” Herculaneum (bar/inn joined to the maritime baths) 10678: “Apelles Mus and his brother Dexter each one pleasurably had intercourse with women two times.

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